You know that feeling of heartache after a breakup? Those deep, aching, agonizing feelings of sadness, hurt, loss, regret, shock, and emptiness? Well why in the world am I feeling these after I just GOT MARRIED!!??! Don’t get me wrong here-I said “I do” to the most amazing man on the planet, I just really didn’t expect the feelings that followed starting the moment we got into our getaway car at the end of the night.
You may wonder how I can relate my PWB (Post Wedding Blues-1 in every 10 women suffer from this according to my obsessive googling on the subject) to the aftermath of a breakup, so let me take you back to where is all began:
I met My Wedding on November 27th of 2011 when Jason, who at the time was my boyfriend, got down on one knee and said those 4 words we long to hear as females since, I dunno-birth?! To be quite honest, I have always wanted to get married, but the older I got the more I thought maybe I would just be happier in a long-term serious relationship and remaining a Weintraub. But apparently Jason, again, knew me better than I knew myself because when he introduced me to My Wedding-the answer was yes, the connection was instant, and our journey (mine and My Wedding) began.
From November 27th-September 8th my thoughts were consumed by My Wedding. Good thoughts, bad thoughts, excited thoughts, anxious thoughts, cold feet thoughts, basically I had so many constant thoughts surrounding the upcoming event, it’s as though it was the only thing that existed in my world. As the big day was approaching, my married friends advised me of one thing: take it all in, the night goes by SO fast. While I am very grateful for this advice, and it is extremely accurate-I would have preferred hearing this truth: “Laura, your wedding is going to be the best day of your life. When it is over you are going to bawl your eyes out, you won’t want to take off your dress, no matter how uncomfortable it is, and when you do-you’ll bawl some more. Then you will hang your dress in the hallway and reach out to touch it every time you pass by as though to say hello, I miss you. Then you will wonder why you are acting like such a weirdo as you go downstairs and spot your dried out bouquet hanging from the living room chandelier and wonder what the appropriate amount of time is to leave it there. Could it stay there permanently? Surely my husband won’t mind, as he must be feeling these same feelings right? Not so much…
As it turns out, he had a wonderful time at our wedding! “Best day of my life” he said! So then WHY am I ready to cry over our day at any given moment, while he can just reflect on it with a very contented smile?! My guess is it has something to do with gender…
Yes, I am crying here…. It was ALMOST over!!!
Anyway, today is our 1 week anniversary and I finally got the guts to pack up my dress and take it to the dry cleaners for (gasp!!!) preservation BECAUSE I WILL NEVER WEAR IT AGAIN PEOPLE!!!!?!!!!!
Ok, so actually it was my husband that packed and loaded the dress in the car…
I guess the moral of this story is: actually, I really don’t know-I just needed to get my feelings out somewhere before Jason starts wondering what in the hell he got himself into!! Off to do some energy work-thank goodness for this video, which just happens to be my mom’s!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E44bC8V3Ebo
Love, your lucky 1 out of 10,