So the word SEX is why you are really reading this post, isn’t it?! Well sorry to disappoint you right off the bat but I guess the word I really meant to use was SEXY. You see, people seem to assume that after a couple gets married they automatically enter into some type of wedded bliss, honeymoon phase kind of BS. I mean, just because he’s now my husband, you think his morning breath smells like chocolate?! God. I. Wish. NO! We dated for EIGHT YEARS before tying the knot three months ago-so basically I haven’t seen a honeymoon phase for like, eight years. Now, I’m no mathematician, but I can tell you, that sh#t wears out quicker than a Magic Eraser (which I will cover shortly, btw).
Don’t get me wrong here, I think my husband is hot, but nothing screams SEXY to me like a man that cleans!!! I do love when he buys me flowers, and if he gives me a massage-that’s really great too, but when I come into the kitchen and see this:
We might as well head straight to the bedroom. Which brings up my next topic: The Magic F!#king Eraser!!!!!
So, we have a spare room that belonged to my Great Danes, but since one is old and doesn’t use the stairs very well, we have a mattress in our living room for him which left us a room upstairs that needed some MAJOR sprucing up. And by sprucing I mean a ‘poop stains on the wall’ kind of a situation. If you don’t have a large dog, and no your Goldendoodle doesn’t count, you probably don’t understand, but just imagine if you will. So, after spending my Sunday scrubbing walls, which I guess was better than watching football-my husband, The Cleaning Guru? chimed in with a “Why don’t you go to the store and get a Magic Eraser?” Magic Eraser my Ass! I thought to myself as I made my way down the household isle. If there was a cleaning product worth owning, I OWNED it-and Magic Eraser wasn’t in my repertoire….YET.
The box says it erases marks. So, what – like pencil and fingerprint bullsh#t ?? I need some help with dried up, smeared in, caked on fecal matter here people! Whatever, it’s worth a shot…So I may be a little late here (this piece of gold was introduced in 2003?!!) but holi moli ecoli-this really is MAGIC!! I had to go buy the rest of them immediately out of fear others might make my same discovery and I wouldn’t be able to complete my latest project: MAGIC ERASER THE WHOLE ENTIRE EFFING HOUSE!
So if you don’t hear from me for a while, you’ll know why…
Secretly dreaming of Mr. Clean,
OH! And btw, if you’ve read Peanut Butter and the Bride, you already know about my pre-wedding P.B. love affair, which means you would understand just how excited I got this week when a little gift arrived from Marsatta Fancy Chocolate (www.marsatta.com) in the form of beautiful chocolates FILLED WITH CRUNCHY PEANUT BUTTER - and this isn’t just any ‘ol Skippy! We are talking P.B. that was awarded best P.B. by LA Magazine!! And well, the chocolate speaks for itself! I am secretly hoping the creator of these amazing goodies will read this and send me his entire menu to try! Did I mention they make chocolate croissants?!! Just what I need before making my New Years resolution These are a ‘must try’ folks!