After reading my latest post: Honeymoons, Hangover, and Hula Pie’s – many subscribers questioned this statement:
“Normally, I kinda love to workout (ok maybe not the actual process, but the feeling after).”
Apparently it is assumed that because most of my 34 years on this planet have been consumed by sports and fitness, I must love working out. Well, unless my “gym boyfriends” (the occasional hot men at my gym that somehow magically make me workout 10 times harder when they are in close proximity. And yes my husband knows all about them) are in the building, I’d rather be doing pretty much anything else. However, the feeling after a workout is what keeps me going back for more. I mean who actually likes the process??? Sweat, pain, shortness of breath? Do those words describe your ideal way in which to spend some of your free time? Me neither, but living a long life in a healthy body and stuffing my face occasionally does, which brings me to Thanksgiving.
There are 7 things that I really LOVE about Thanksgiving, and they are, in no particular order: food, food, dessert, food, dessert, food and food. So when I hear advice that is given to people who are watching their daily caloric intake – key word daily – I think silently to myself, WTF!
You see, when you workout and watch your caloric intake on a daily basis, you can have WTF days and even still fit into your jeans the next morning!! Just don’t say “eff” it and decide that you might as well continue the party until New Years (been there, done that). In all my years of training, trying every new fad, every diet, giving up this for some reason, eating more of that for another, I have learned one very important thing:
GET YOUR ASS BACK ON THE WAGON!!!
Personally, I am a “Monday Wagoner”, but I don’t recommend it. The optimal scenario in Wagon Speak looks something like this for example: You went to lunch with friends and decided to eat like you had just finished a 462 mile marathon. Somehow, a few hours later (dinner time) you are hungry again and decide that you must get back on track and consume only grilled chicken and broccoli then call it a night. Ideal? Yes. Realistic? #Notforme #Notinthislifetime #Not’effing’ever #Ya’effing’right
Now, you might be wondering how Monday Wagoning works if the above described smorgasbord happens say, on a Tuesday, so let me clarify: “Monday” to me means the next day, unless its a weekend-then “Monday” actually means Monday, and if you find me completely insane at this point and choose to stop reading, I don’t blame you.
Ok, so it’s “Monday“?! Now what?! Try doing the opposite of what got you here in the first place, as in put down that bottle of wine and pick up that glass of water. Here is an example of a recent swap I made: a weekend full of booze, cake, fried sh#t and any and all bread I could get my hands on; to this on Monday:
Mine is on the left. My Husband tried to follow the “green drink” policy, but when you have the metabolism of a 16 year old boy that plays high school sports 8 nights a week (hate him), you can do whatever the “eff” you want.
So, as you spend this day with your loved ones, or un-loved ones-because let’s face it: the family you actually like are the ones you keep in contact with the other 364 days a year, remember 3 things:
#1. WTFing is ok!!!
2. I will be WTFing my face off!!!
#3. WTFing rests between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Follow this formula, and you too can have a wonderful holiday!
WTFing makes sharing that table with “Uncle Creeper” a bit more bearable!!! And if you happen to be in the Cambria, Ca. area-you can WTF some flower pot bread with me at my favorite place to spend Thanksgiving (the Sow’s Ear)!!!
To Your Health, Happiness, and Sanity this Turkey Day,
L
